Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Closer
More and more I'm wrapping my brain around the idea of moving. I am excited about some of the packing and organization tasks, which I realize makes me weird. I can't wait to clean out my spice cupboard and toss some of the kids' old toys. I should do these things anyway but moving would make it happen right away.
I'm also starting to talk differently about it. Instead of saying, "If we moved to India, we would..." I now find myself saying, "When we move we will..." So when it comes to the decision point and we have to commit I think I'll be able to do it.
I'm also starting to talk differently about it. Instead of saying, "If we moved to India, we would..." I now find myself saying, "When we move we will..." So when it comes to the decision point and we have to commit I think I'll be able to do it.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Premature Packing Panic
As I contemplate the possibility of moving halfway around the world with small children I find myself making mental lists of EVERYTHING.
Kid-friendly Foods I Should Pack in My Suitcase
Medications I Should Pack in My Suitcase
Clothing I Should Buy (and Pack in My Suitcase)
Household Items I Should Pack in My Suitcase
Safety Issues I Should Freak Out About (carseats, malaria)
Vaccinations I Should Run Out and Get (encephalitis and rabies are recommended—eek!)
Questions I Should Ask
Ways to Find People Who Can Answer My Questions
Indian Dishes I Would Like to Learn How to Cook
We don't even know if we'll go yet but my brain is already trying to think of every possible thing I can do to avert disaster, tears, discomfort, adjustment pains, and diarrhea. It's irrational, but comforting to attempt to plan everything. I prefer to pretend that I have control.
And I'm going to need a REALLY big suitcase.
Kid-friendly Foods I Should Pack in My Suitcase
Medications I Should Pack in My Suitcase
Clothing I Should Buy (and Pack in My Suitcase)
Household Items I Should Pack in My Suitcase
Safety Issues I Should Freak Out About (carseats, malaria)
Vaccinations I Should Run Out and Get (encephalitis and rabies are recommended—eek!)
Questions I Should Ask
Ways to Find People Who Can Answer My Questions
Indian Dishes I Would Like to Learn How to Cook
We don't even know if we'll go yet but my brain is already trying to think of every possible thing I can do to avert disaster, tears, discomfort, adjustment pains, and diarrhea. It's irrational, but comforting to attempt to plan everything. I prefer to pretend that I have control.
And I'm going to need a REALLY big suitcase.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
My Impressions
I have been home in California for a day and a half. I'm sorting through my impressions of India and trying to decide whether I loved or hated it. No, those terms are too strong. I felt closer to the middle most of the time and went back and forth between like and dislike.
Here is what I remember from each day of my trip:
Tues - Soooo tired. Excited to be in a foreign country since we haven't done much traveling in the last five years with little kids. A bit overwhelmed by everyone bowing and opening doors for us. Did I mention tired? We also checked out a grocery store. It had four varieties of eggplant but not much cow's milk. And definitely no Lactaid for Colin.
Wed - We visited a school. It was very nice, everyone was so friendly, but we were the only white people on the whole campus. I felt bad that it bothered me but it kind of did. I don't know what that experience would be like for the kids. This was the day that all the cultural differences overwhelmed me. I was close to tears a bunch of times and I just couldn't imagine living there.
Thurs - We visited a school recommended by a British expat. It felt much more multi-national with kids from Europe, Asia, the U.S., and of course India. The school year was closer to the Western calendar and many students came from the neighborhood where we would probably live. I felt so much better about it. The teachers were also nicer about my concerns that the kids might have trouble adjusting.
Fri - I took a tour of Matt's office in Hyderabad. It felt much like offices everywhere with just a slight Indian feel (Chai in the break room). Everyone we talked to warned us that the working spouse adjusts more easily to living in India because they're in a familiar professional environment. Matt's boss said that at work things are 80% as good as in the U.S., but at home things are 50% as good so it's much harder for the stay-at-home parent. I appreciate the honesty but it doesn't make me excited to live there!
We also went out to dinner with Matt's boss and his family. We were the only people in the restaurant at 7:30pm. When we left around 9:00 it was getting busier. The kids fell asleep at the table and our conversation just went on around them. It was very different from the U.S. where we have strict schedules that interfere with our social lives.
Sat - We visited a park and craft market to buy some junky souvenirs for the kids. Then we had a very nice traditional South Indian lunch. Yum!
We were invited to dinner with an Indian family to celebrate Holi. The food was delicious and it was interesting to see how a native family lived (a relatively wealthy family, at least). I started to get more excited about the adventure of living immersed in another culture. The kids would have liked it, I think.
Sun - I had a bit of traveler's tummy (they call it Delhi belly) so Matt went to celebrate Holi on his own. He came back orange and pink and he had a great time. The kids would have loved it too. I rested until evening and then hopped on a plane for a long long long trip home.
I don't know what to think at this point. There's a pro list and a con list and both have lots of items. I'm struggling to figure out how people make this kind of decision. We'll figure it out in the next couple of weeks because we have lots to do if we're going to go.
One of my own personal pros: if we do end up moving there will be plenty of things to blog about.
Here is what I remember from each day of my trip:
Tues - Soooo tired. Excited to be in a foreign country since we haven't done much traveling in the last five years with little kids. A bit overwhelmed by everyone bowing and opening doors for us. Did I mention tired? We also checked out a grocery store. It had four varieties of eggplant but not much cow's milk. And definitely no Lactaid for Colin.
Wed - We visited a school. It was very nice, everyone was so friendly, but we were the only white people on the whole campus. I felt bad that it bothered me but it kind of did. I don't know what that experience would be like for the kids. This was the day that all the cultural differences overwhelmed me. I was close to tears a bunch of times and I just couldn't imagine living there.
Thurs - We visited a school recommended by a British expat. It felt much more multi-national with kids from Europe, Asia, the U.S., and of course India. The school year was closer to the Western calendar and many students came from the neighborhood where we would probably live. I felt so much better about it. The teachers were also nicer about my concerns that the kids might have trouble adjusting.
Fri - I took a tour of Matt's office in Hyderabad. It felt much like offices everywhere with just a slight Indian feel (Chai in the break room). Everyone we talked to warned us that the working spouse adjusts more easily to living in India because they're in a familiar professional environment. Matt's boss said that at work things are 80% as good as in the U.S., but at home things are 50% as good so it's much harder for the stay-at-home parent. I appreciate the honesty but it doesn't make me excited to live there!
We also went out to dinner with Matt's boss and his family. We were the only people in the restaurant at 7:30pm. When we left around 9:00 it was getting busier. The kids fell asleep at the table and our conversation just went on around them. It was very different from the U.S. where we have strict schedules that interfere with our social lives.
Sat - We visited a park and craft market to buy some junky souvenirs for the kids. Then we had a very nice traditional South Indian lunch. Yum!
We were invited to dinner with an Indian family to celebrate Holi. The food was delicious and it was interesting to see how a native family lived (a relatively wealthy family, at least). I started to get more excited about the adventure of living immersed in another culture. The kids would have liked it, I think.
Sun - I had a bit of traveler's tummy (they call it Delhi belly) so Matt went to celebrate Holi on his own. He came back orange and pink and he had a great time. The kids would have loved it too. I rested until evening and then hopped on a plane for a long long long trip home.
I don't know what to think at this point. There's a pro list and a con list and both have lots of items. I'm struggling to figure out how people make this kind of decision. We'll figure it out in the next couple of weeks because we have lots to do if we're going to go.
One of my own personal pros: if we do end up moving there will be plenty of things to blog about.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Finding the Humor
I feel better today than I did yesterday. I slept better last night so that has to help. It still seems crazy to move ourselves halfway around the world but I don't feel like crying every time we go out of the hotel. I'm adjusting to the bustle and mess. I'm trying to be entertained by the cultural differences and marginal English. For instance:
--We saw an ad on a taxi that offered "in hose training" for programmers.
--Our hotel room has a fruit menu with funny descriptions of fruits you can order. "Grapes are low on saturated fat and contain anti ageing properties. 92 gms of grapes gives 62 calories."
--An apartment complex offered a "saloon" where ladies could have their hair done.
I have a few hours to kill while Matt works this afternoon. I might get a massage since our hotel offers a number of choices, including "Indian head massage" and "special for the programmer's back." Or maybe I'll just order some kiwi from the fruit menu because it is known as the Chinese gooseberry and helps to repair damaged DNA. I wonder how many calories it gives?
--We saw an ad on a taxi that offered "in hose training" for programmers.
--Our hotel room has a fruit menu with funny descriptions of fruits you can order. "Grapes are low on saturated fat and contain anti ageing properties. 92 gms of grapes gives 62 calories."
--An apartment complex offered a "saloon" where ladies could have their hair done.
I have a few hours to kill while Matt works this afternoon. I might get a massage since our hotel offers a number of choices, including "Indian head massage" and "special for the programmer's back." Or maybe I'll just order some kiwi from the fruit menu because it is known as the Chinese gooseberry and helps to repair damaged DNA. I wonder how many calories it gives?
The Visit
We are in Hyderabad. I have six days to see everything I can before we decide whether or not to move here. It's overwhelming just to be in India with the jet lag, the poverty, the cultural differences, and the heat. I also miss the kids.
In our first three days we have seen two schools, two housing developments, a temple, and a mall. I have taken two naps.
I worry about the kids adjusting. The school we like is 40 minutes away from the area we'd want to live in. Meara would have a 40 minute bus ride on each end of a six hour school day. From my American perspective that's a heavy schedule for kindergarten. Colin has never been to any school so I would probably look for a closer preschool with a shorter day.
I have plenty of other worries: traffic, quality of health care, food safety, malaria. But there would also be some benefits to living here for a couple of years. We'd all have a new cultural experience. Labor is cheap so we'd have a driver, a house cleaner and probably a cook at least part of the time. We could travel to parts of the world we might not otherwise visit.
In the second half of this trip I will talk to a few more people and visit a few more places. Mostly I will try to assimilate what I've learned and figure out how to make this huge decision. But first I think I will take a nap.
In our first three days we have seen two schools, two housing developments, a temple, and a mall. I have taken two naps.
I worry about the kids adjusting. The school we like is 40 minutes away from the area we'd want to live in. Meara would have a 40 minute bus ride on each end of a six hour school day. From my American perspective that's a heavy schedule for kindergarten. Colin has never been to any school so I would probably look for a closer preschool with a shorter day.
I have plenty of other worries: traffic, quality of health care, food safety, malaria. But there would also be some benefits to living here for a couple of years. We'd all have a new cultural experience. Labor is cheap so we'd have a driver, a house cleaner and probably a cook at least part of the time. We could travel to parts of the world we might not otherwise visit.
In the second half of this trip I will talk to a few more people and visit a few more places. Mostly I will try to assimilate what I've learned and figure out how to make this huge decision. But first I think I will take a nap.
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